Leading Behind the Smile
Kristy-Fox Hensley is the leader of Behind the Smile at Discovery Church.
What do you like to do for fun Kristy?
“Well it’s funny you ask that question. For the last several years, I have been on a kind of “self-care journey,” learning how to care for myself amidst the business of finishing a master’s degree in Counseling/Psychology, going through a divorce and raising two sons. These days, fun looks like giving myself time to just rest, think and feel whatever I’m feeling. That may sound incredibly lame, but its important to be honest about what you need. For fun though, I do enjoy riding my bike on the trails.”
Why do you volunteer as a facilitator for a post-abortion ministry?
“I had my own abortion at 18, thinking I was making the choice to put an unfortunate thing behind me; to make it all go away-but that wasn’t the case. Afterwards, I felt numb and spiritually imprisoned for 19 years. When I finally found healing and forgiveness through a bible study, I felt as though I had been given such a priceless gift. To not share what I had experienced seemed so selfish. Now I love helping others find what I found in Jesus’ forgiveness.”
Why should women talk about their abortion?
“It may surprise readers to hear that abortion is usually a symptom of a much deeper issue, many times rooted in a core belief. Many times, behind the smile of a calm, collected and controlled women is a broken little girl who is struggling and in need of healing. It wasn’t until I realized that the walls I had built up in order to not feel the effects of my abortion, were also my spiritual prison walls and they prevented me from feeling the full spectrum of joy, peace and contentment. It was as if my pain and grief kept me from fully connecting with God.”
Does Jesus really have something to offer those who have had an abortion?
“Christ looks past the external perpetrator to the inner victim of each woman who has had an abortion. He sees His wounded, suffering daughter, not the sin. It’s not about whether or not she is worthy of love, but that she is simply unfailingly and inextricably loved. To those women who have had an abortion, don’t wait any longer to reach out for healing. Prolonged resistance to healing can create a false sense of wellness as you live in denial of this secret and the truth behind a mask. Don’t be deceived. God’s ability to heal and comfort is so worth surrendering and facing your pain in exchange for freedom from it.”
What could the church do better to help women who have had an abortion?
“For me, it is not about sides, it is about a wounded woman who most likely feels so much shame and self-condemnation on her own. She most likely thinks the church would surely condemn her, if only they knew. She is just a hurting little girl who wants desperately to heal and move past this painful reality. Did she make a mistake, yes, should she address this mistake with her Heavenly Father, definitely. Each of us within the church usually feels strong conviction regarding the sides, but sin is sin. If we speak out strongly using harsh accusations, hatred or graphic tactics, we miss the opportunity to be a part of our Father’s amazing healing and love and we further injure her soul. We need to understand the power in our words, actions and attitudes toward these women, these wounded daughters. Jesus loves sinners and so must the church.”