It has been decades but I still remember the dream. A little girl, playing house and baby dolls, growing up with the hope of someday becoming a mom.
The years have slipped by so quickly. The memory bank is full to the brim and overflowing as my childhood dream became my reality.
I remember the ups and downs of the last 36 years of my life journey. The days have certainly proven to be different from just pretending to be mom to actually being mom.
Some days of motherhood truly seemed like my dream come true and other days seemed like a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from quickly.
The reality of the day to day calling of being a mom in a broken, grace needy world, never comes up perfect, but always, without hesitation, comes up with a heart deeply stirred by the goodness of God in every moment.
It has been by His design and His beautiful purpose that two wide-eyed, full of life, ask a million questions, adventurous, snuggly kids would be God’s plan to change me. I continue to be amazed that the silly, and sometimes serious, mostly sweet, but sometimes stubborn, kids would be His instrument of grace in a life that so needed to be regenerated, reformed, and reshaped into His image – the image of The One True God.
Through the lens of motherhood, my eyes were opened wide to my own depravity and my own need of Jesus. As I practiced loving each child without conditions, I too realized the love of an unconditional God. As I dug deep into their hearts, my own heart issues came to surface. As I shared the Gospel in daily interactions, the Gospel cut deeply and called me to account for my own thoughts and actions.
Indeed, God has used my role as mom to draw me close, to hold me tight, to show me His deep love, and to keep me on His path. It has been a journey of joy and when the crooked paths found their way into my story, God graciously made each one straight in His time and for His good purpose.
Over these many years, I have stood in the gap to pray and I had a front row seat to the unending mercy of a glorious God in the lives of both of my kids.
And now, a mom turned MiMi, the story is yet to be told of how God will use my sweet grands to continue the process of revealing who I am and who God is.
I am glad to be living His plan for His glory. It is amazing and oh so fun.”
“Behold Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
Psalms 127:4-5 (ESV)