By Sandy Traugott
Cherished Women’s Blog Writer
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Your parent’s? Your precious child? Your “one flesh” now ripped away? A dear sibling? A deeply treasured friend?
Whether you want to or not, you are forced to walk through this terrestrial storm of grief. Deny the surge, and pain will spring up over time in other avenues of your life.
Unknown emotions emerge.
Harsh reality steals your breath.
Heart pain pierces like a thrust spike.
Agonizing sorrow sweeps over you.
Tears sporadically appear either gently or as billowing waves knocking you over.
Christmas pushes us to feel grief’s intensified pain because we feel our heart’s hole.
Seeing your deep plight, some friends attempt to rescue you with words equivalent to bandaids placed over your open heart surgery. Bandaids fail miserably, they weren’t equipped to do the job. If you have experienced these words, you’ll know what I mean.
Some friends come with no words, which is best. The truth is, no words heal.
Your grief is a journey only you can walk.
Over time the wound may physically heal, but a deep scar will remain. Someone once described death separation similar to losing a limb and needing to adjust to your new life with part of you missing.
I heard you must fully allow grief to continue at least a year in order to live through all the holidays and special events without your loved one by your side to embrace.
Plastic smiles are sometimes needed for these special days because people want you to be happy. So do what needs to be done to survive. The reality is hard. You may think, “If I could just go into hiding for these events!” But your loved ones also need your presence.
Holidays are eased when we talk openly of our missed loved one, sharing tears and joy of remembering them.
I encourage you to buy this gift for yourself. The book, Tear Soup was recently introduced to me and now I value sharing this treasured book. Tear Soup can be bought on Amazon (just click on the title). So far, everyone I know who has or is grieving can relate to this tender storybook, even children. There are rich practical tips in the back. Also, Nancy Guthrie has deep enriching books about grief, including Holding on to Hope, Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow, and What Grieving People Wish You Knew. She and her husband are the cohosts of the GriefShare videos used in 10,000 churches nationwide.
If I could, I would wrap my arms around you, and allow you to weep. I would sit down with you for hours and allow you to tell me stories of your loved one. I would laugh and cry with you.
I am praying for everyone of you who are in the midst of grieving. “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ” II Thess. 3:5