By Darci Claggett
Cherished Women’s Blog Writer
The neighborhood streets sparkled with white lights. Family and friends greeted one another on doorsteps, while mouthwatering feasts awaited them inside. They laughed and told stories of Christmases past. A present or two was opened before they headed out for midnight mass.
Everyone around me was celebrating and preparing for the birth of Jesus, while I was desperately trying to drown my sorrow in a bottle of wine.
My friends were all traveling, my family lived hours away fulfilling their own schedule, and my kids, 3 and 5 years old, were spending Christmas Eve with their Dad.
Divorce can rip your insides to pieces, but divorce two months before Christmas, can debilitate you.
What should have been a fresh start to a new life, ended up being a depressing end to a life once lived.
I pleaded for joy and excitement to take over my loneliness.
But instead, each sip of wine gave nourishment to roots of loss, guilt, and shame, planting themselves deep within my soul.
Wounds like that cannot be healed with alcohol, people, or therapy. Happiness makes an appearance every once in awhile, but true peace and healing never come.
I wish I could tell you Jesus came to my rescue that night, but the truth is, I was so self-absorbed in my own despair. I didn’t even cry out to Him even though He was right next to me the- entire- time!
My heart didn’t feel worthy of His love and comfort. I sat with eyes focused on fermented grapes, instead of His refreshing water.
It would be 10 long years before I was able to accept His love for me.
The journey unraveled weeds of my past, and Jesus showed me He is the only true healer. He dug out the dead roots and cut down the tree that produced many bad fruits in my life.
He was able to give me a new heart with His everlasting nourishment.
There is always healing and comfort with Jesus! Even if you are where I was 10 years ago, the truth remains; Jesus was born for you! Jesus was born to love you! Let Him be the One you run to for comfort. Let Him love you. He is right there next to you, waiting for you to speak His name.