I found myself here after an 18 year relationship ended. This time was different. I wasn’t a kid anymore. Now an adult with a home, independence and faith. Girlfriends and guy friends gave me their advice.  Not that I asked, mind you, most of it coming from well-intentioned friends and coworkers.

“You’re a great catch. I can’t believe you’re single. You’ve got to get out there. Have you tried online? I hear it works.”

I was “out there” and I didn’t find my family or all the great girlfriends I have online!

Did I choose this journey? No, but it was one I was on, and once I settled in, like a comfy pair of shoes, I realized how wonderful it could be.

I thought I had to do something to make the man of my dreams come and swoop me off my feet.

For this girl, God said it was going to be different. The mate He selects for my life is going to make Him famous – a testimony in which I would not be able to claim.

I believe in Him, the Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. If He can do ALL, He can put my name on the heart of a man He knows is right for me.

Matthew 6:33, “Seek His Kingdom first and all these things will be added unto you.” This was the best single advice I received from my new friend in the faith.

So, make HIM the priority and then all the other stuff will work itself out?? Absolutely!

In seeking to learn how to live a life as a single woman of God, I’ve been reading and listening to God-breathed instruction on dating, a topic not taught nearly enough in the church. What I learned was so counter-cultural yet, in God, made so much sense.

The world tells us to impress him by “looking the part”, being attractive and having the right clothes, job and hobbies. When we “get him”, he is supposed to make us happy. We put our hope in him and when he disappoints, we blame him and break it off. The cycle begins again.

God’s way teaches us to be attractive on the inside, mirroring who God is and developing His character in us. Singleness is a time to get to know the husband in our Creator. The only love of our life who will never disappoint, be unfaithful or break His commitment. When we put our hope and trust in HIM, singleness is a beautiful season to cherish and enjoy.

Psalm 37: 4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

If you would like to learn more about God’s design for dating and relationships, visit these pages:

Northpoint Church

Living on The Edge


Nicole Santapola

About Nicole Santapola

Nicole Santapola began her relationship with Christ after 30 years of religion being a mainstay in her upbringing. Experiencing a divorce, Nicole found herself a single woman leaning on God's promises and learning both His faithfulness and love. She calls Discovery Church home. She began attending in 2002 and through bible studies, women's events, and restoration counseling, she was baptized at East Campus in 2006. Nicole has a passion to share God's love and encouragement to others particularly in the area of health and wellness. She has followed holistic health and nutrition and through education and cooking classes, she teaches and shares this with others. She loves to cook and bake mostly plant-based dishes in her home and visit local vegetarian establishments. Her walk began with Romans 12:2, "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind".

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